Even though I want nothing more than contact and affection, I find solace in the knowledge that I would be incapable of managing anything permanent. I don’t want something fleeting; I don’t want to just dance around the bulb. I want to be burning like the filament, glowing with melting light. I couldn’t handle anything long lasting. I’m far too committed and invested in my exams. Yet I can’t help thinking what if. What if I had the special burning something. A incendiary romance to escape from the stresses of school. Something or someone warm to curl up against and close my eyes and fall forever in their arms, further and further away.